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雅思写作:“房价”的范文
时间:2016-06-15 11:33:21   来源:澳新英语学校   点击:244次   责任编辑:澳新英语学校
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    题型/参考:

    Here's my full essay (band 9) for the day before yesterday's question:(IELTS Writing Task 1: 'house prices' chart)

    The bar chart compares the cost of an average house in five major cities over a period of 13 years from 1989.

    We can see that house prices fell overall between 1990 and 1995, but most of the cities saw rising prices between 1996 and 2002. London experienced by far the greatest changes in house prices over the 13-year period.

    Over the 5 years after 1989, the cost of average homes in Tokyo and London dropped by around 7%, while New York house prices went down by 5%. By contrast, prices rose by approximately 2% in both Madrid and Frankfurt.

    Between 1996 and 2002, London house prices jumped to around 12% above the 1989 average. Homebuyers in New York also had to pay significantly more, with prices rising to 5% above the 1989 average, but homes in Tokyo remained cheaper than they were in 1989. The cost of an average home in Madrid rose by a further 2%, while prices in Frankfurt remained stable.

    答疑:

    问1:Is it ok to write:

    - in 1982, only Malaysian students among 4 different countries came to study in Australia, approximately 5,000 students.
    - there was no overseas students from Hong Kong and Singapore in Australia from in 1982 until 1987.

    答1:
Your sentences are ok. Write 'there were...'

    问2:Questions always seem sort of easier when I'm reading your band-9 sample answers, but I'm always at a loss when I'm given some difficult-to-deal-with questions! Take this question as an example. It's not easy understanding the chart, not to speak of writing an organized answer.

    By the way, rumor has it that flow charts / tables appear way less frequently than line graphs / bar charts do. Is this true? Or it's just a rumor circulated on the Internet?

    答2:For once a rumour is true! Graphs and bar/pie charts are the most common.

    问3:I find that your sample is very clear and good sample I can study something from. Then, I want to ask about some information in your essay. According to the graph, in the first period, there are two nations whose house prices increased. However you wrote that "We can see that house prices fell overall between 1990 and 1995". Is 'overall' exact in this situation?

    答3:Yes, 'overall' is the key word because it means that we are adding together all of the percentages rather than looking at separate cities.

    问4:IN your sentence (, while New York house prices went down by 5%. ) you mentioned New york house prices can I write, while new york(s') house prices went down by 5% or
,while (in) new york house prices went down by 5%.

    答4:Yes, those are correct. Write: New York's...

    问5:
I was practising writing task 1,test 3 in cambridge book 3,where 3 different bar charts are given, I tried to make it precise but I ended up in 190 words, can't do shorter than that....is it too long? I mean three charts have three different informations,,

    答5:There is no maximum, so 190 words is fine.

    问6:I have got essay topic to be honest with you, I don't understand what is the meaning of this essay and what I should write plz help me and give me some ideas.

    Nowadays some secondary schools give children general education in a range of traditional disciplines, while others claim to be more specialized and pay attention to some particular classes, excluding some general ones. Which of two school types is better for children and why?

    答6:I'm afraid that you are making the mistake of worrying about one strange question that will probably never be used again. It's much better to prepare for the common topics.

    问7:
Could you please,discribe the table which include data for future.for example( 2002-2015). I have problem about comparing two sentences in diffrent tenses.

    答7:It's easy. Just use the past tense for past years (e.g. 20% of people were...) and 'will' or 'is predicted/expected' for future dates (e.g. the figure is expected to reach 30% in 2015, OR 'will reach...')

    问8:
Why did you say in Frankfurt remained stable? ,could we say ..decreased slightly?

    答8:'Stable' doesn't need to mean 'exactly the same', I just mean that prices in Frankfurt didn't change very much. Yes, you could also say 'decreased slightly'.

    问9:l'm afraid I didn't understand why define at does the sentence "the prices remained cheaper than they were in 1989" mean??? and I even couldn't figure it out from the chart! may be because "remaining cheaper" is not used in my mother tongue at all. Could you define it plz?

    答9:I wrote "homes remained cheaper". This means that "houses stayed (continued to be) cheaper". In other words, the price of houses in Tokyo between 1996 and 2002 continued to be lower/less than the price in 1989.

    问10:Please advise me whether or not we can be penalised for re phrasing the introduction using nearly the same words of the graph(not the orig introduction)
Is this considered enough rephrase. The bar chart illustrates the percentage change in average house prices in five capitals from 1990to 2002 compared with the year 1989 price. Or should I omit the last price?

    答10:Your introduction is fine - you've made enough changes. Maybe you could omit 'price'.

    问11:I got confused, why you used while, there is not any contrast, both experienced fall in prices! Could I use also instead?

    "Over the 5 years after 1989, the cost of average homes in Tokyo and London dropped by around 7%, while New York house prices went down by 5%." Is my introduction correct, I tried to paraphrase it?

    The bar chart illustrates data about alteration in average house prices in five mega cities around the world for a period of twelve years in comparison with the cost of an average house in 1989.

    答11:"While" is not only used for contrast. It really means "at the same time".

    You can't use "also" in the same way. It's best at the beginning of a new sentence e.g. "...around 7%. Also, New York house prices..." Your introduction is fine.

    问12:Can I say, SHOWED, in stead of SAW ,in this sentence(but most of the cities SAW rising prices between 1996 and 2002).

    答12:
No, we wouldn't say "the cities showed". You can use "experienced" if you want a different word.

    问13:Does "the cost of an average house" and "the cost of an average HOME" have the same mean? House can be equal to home? I thought house indicates the "building" and home is with emotional meanings. Is it true?

    Also, why you used the cost of "an" average house in the first paragraph, but you also used the cost of average home"s"? Any differences?

    My third question is the last paragraph, you wrote "Homebuyers in New York had to pay significantly more...." Is it ok to write the task 1? because the question did not mention the homebuyers, should we put our personal ideas?

    答13:Good questions!

    1、You are right that 'house' and 'home' can have different meanings, but in the context of buying a house, it's very common to use both words as synonyms - it's something that you might see in newspapers or hear on the news. I think my use of the 2 words is nice variation that the examiner would like.

    2、No difference, just variety to avoid repetition.

    3、There is no need to add 'homebuyers', but this would impress the examiner as more varied use of language. It's the kind of thing that only a native speaker (or very advanced student) would think to write.

    问14:I wonder whether this introduction is correct "The bar chart COMPARES THE COST of an average house in five major cities over a period of 13 years from 1989"
I think the graph only shows the change in average house prices in terms of percentage in different cities, it cannot compare the COST among these cities (We even dont know in which cities the price was expensive or cheap)

    答14:
Well noticed! I agree that it would be better to write "compares CHANGES in the average cost" or something like that. The essay would still get a band 9 though ;)

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